Saturday, April 25, 2009

Skinhorse Truth: Mortality and Divinity

Oh, to rise above the mortal plane—
that we may challenge the distance between
our human and divine selves.
- Jacqueline J. Hancock

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Skinhorse Truth: Forgiveness

Forgiveness requires a foreclosure on pride
and a second mortgage on humility.
- Jacqueline J. Hancock

Monday, April 20, 2009

Skinhorse Poetry: "Where Did All the Forgiveness Go?"

This original poem and personal experience demonstrate that I am one who has been hurt and who has struggled enormously with forgiving another for that hurt. I do not dare claim that my experience is new, or feel my pain to be above that borne by another. Having said that, and while I have hesitated to do so, I finally decided to share a portion of my experience and learning here in the hope that it will be of some benefit to one, or to many, of you.

Where did all the forgiveness go?
Nowhere.
The same as all the apologies.

Yet to forgive—though forgiveness be not sought:
Is it not more glorious than the receipt of pleading?

Reveal thou, thy glory here.

In its place comes once more—Pain.
For, in turning the corner towards forgiveness
Another unsung apology groans out as a reminder
And nearly nothing rings more loudly
Than such a nothingness.

“Oh, how deep the wound!” she cries.
And cries.
And cries again.

Who could trace the path of tears,
Or find its ending point on the tear-streaked face?


- Jacqueline J. Hancock


Forgiving another is part of the soul’s requirement to undergo a “mighty change.” My own changing—though paltry in comparison to many—has inspired gratitude within. I understand that the making of a mighty change never really results in our reaching a destination; rather, it is a continuing process. Still, invisible chapter markers help point to critical crossroads.

Efforts made to help rid my heart of any unkind feelings towards one who had hurt me included attending aids that the Lord remarkably charted out for my benefit, revealing in no uncertain terms that He is aware of my needs. Through them, I was prepared to visualize a series of significant things.

First of all, one evening I lay in bed, alone in the darkness, yet very much awake. In this state, I was granted a vision of one particular person who had hurt me deeply and repeatedly so, standing far away from me and diminished in size, the way that artists portray people and things in the distance. Though we faced one another, it was clear that we could not be brought any closer. Almost immediately, and to my great surprise, there stood the Savior next to me. He looked into my eyes, though I could not bear to look into His. He asked me, “Is it not enough that I suffered for all hurts given here? Is there something else that you require? Is there more that I should do?” Tears filled my eyes—not in the vision, but in reality. I answered, even audibly, as I lay there alone in the darkness: “No, you have done all.” Of course His suffering is enough. Of course it is. But in weakness, I had not been able to find a way to fully accept His offerings.

Secondly, and following this former vision, I entered within the Mesa Temple. Before heading into an endowment session, I stopped and took a single piece of paper and pencil and wrote down the names of all those involved in my hurt at the time. I had completed this act many times before. This time, however, I included my own name. All names were, symbolically at least to me, placed upon the Temple altar while I was present there. At last, certain feelings swelled, enabling me to visualize standing peacefully WITH those who had hurt me. Again, tears filled my eyes.

Thirdly, I had a dream in the middle of the night. In my dream, this same particular person stood facing me, obviously troubled. We were within a mere few feet of one another then. An unexpected awareness ensued. Comprehending some of the feelings of hurt that I had inspired myself, I moved towards this person, whom I then compassionately wrapped my arms around long enough to tell how very sorry I was to have contributed any pain.

The dream ended there. No final page was revealed in this chapter of my experience as I dreamed. As time has passed, it has been made clear that the story is still being written, whether in daytime or nighttime hours.

Who could trace the path of tears,
Or find its ending point on the tear-streaked face?

There is only One, and that One is the Savior. The tears have been traced. They are known. Gratefully, the tears have their ending point as well. The pain is becoming more and more soothed by The Balm of Gilead. What comfort this Balm brings.

Some things are certain. We all hurt within ourselves for wrongs committed against us, even grievous wrongs. We all manage to hurt one another, sometimes without even intending to do so. Whichever way our experiences may lead us, we all are in a position to seek and receive forgiveness. Finally, we all struggle with seeking and extending forgiveness.

Yet, if we are to be made right with the Lord, then we will necessarily have to forgive those who have wronged us—even if they never ask for our forgiveness! I think, though, that the Lord understands that everyone’s timetable is different. He says we must forgive; he does not say that we must forgive NOW. Still, it is to our own advantage that we get ourselves set on the right track towards forgiveness, allowing space for it when it comes. As we attune ourselves more and more with the Lord’s purposes, we will find our spiritual speed quicken enough to fully renew our walk with Him.

If you struggle still to forgive, may you begin anew the process of undergoing a mighty change of heart. May you indeed forgive another of their wrongs towards you—not because they need it or deserve it—but because the Lord stands between you and them, asking if His suffering is enough to cover it all.

Please read THE PEACEGIVER by James L. Ferrell for a more thorough spiritual comprehension of the subject of forgiveness. My repeated readings of this book helped to prepare me for some of my own personal experiences.

Saturday, April 18, 2009

Our Deepest Fear

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We are born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Quoted by Nelson Mandela. Written by Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love: Reflections on the Principles of A Course in Miracles, Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3 (Pg. 190-191).

Sunday, April 12, 2009

A Better Resurrection



Talk given by
Jacqueline J. Hancock,
Beverly Ward
Sacrament Meeting,
Easter Sunday - April 12, 2009



The Apostle Paul taught, "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable."1
I believe what he was saying here is that, if we look to Christ only for our daily bread, then we miss the greater point – even the promise – of Him being the "Bread of Life." Jesus himself attested, "I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst."2

This Bread of Life spoke at length of his gift of resurrection, though the people understood him not. Five days before his final Passover supper, before he would become The Passover himself, Jesus the Christ spoke these words about his resurrection, and our resurrection because of him: "Verily, verily, I say unto you, Except a corn of wheat fall into the ground and die, it abideth alone: but if it die, it bringeth forth much fruit."3

The Resurrection is:
* A life- and death-altering event and experience.
* Based on eternal law and sacrifice.
* Given to all mankind as an unconditional gift, regardless of whether we be good, or whether we be evil.4

We will all live again, and live forever in an immortal state, because of the gift of the Bread of Life. So, truly, "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable."5

But, let us not forget to enjoy our daily bread!

If I may borrow again from Paul (taking license to change a couple of words and propose a junior theory of my own), "If in the NEXT life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men and women, most miserable."

While in this mortal frame, there’s a lot about life that I don’t think I’ll ever quite understand, ever be able to explain, or ever find solace enough to help meet and overcome all the injustices, the blows to the guts, and heavy sighs. Gratefully, I do know such a time will eventually come, when through spiritual eyes, ALL will be discerned, causing the final sigh to, at last, breathe in new life and light. Still, while in this life, I hope for better days, better circumstances, better health, better relationships, and better chances to make meaningful contributions so as to comprehend my purpose or purposes.

The scriptures are also replete with references to things that are better. Here are a few:

"For the law made nothing perfect, but the bringing in of a better hope did; by the which we draw nigh unto God."6

" . . . [Christ] is the mediator of a better covenant, which was established upon better promises."7

" . . . ye have in heaven a better and an enduring substance."8

" . . . they desire a better country, that is, an heavenly."9

"And now I say, is there not a type in this thing? For just as surely as this director did bring our fathers, by following its course, to the promised land, shall the words of Christ, if we follow their course, carry us beyond this vale of sorrow into a far better land of promise."10

In addition to these, there is a favorite passage of mine found in Hebrews 11. This entire chapter deals with the subject of faith, beginning in verse 1 with its definition. It goes on to describe exemplars of faith through the ages, including Abel, Enoch, Noah, Abraham, Sara, Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, and Moses. The walls of Jericho were brought down by faith extended. And even the harlot Rahab - a prostitute, of all people – is included here because of her great faith.

(Starting now in Hebrews 11:32): "And what shall I more say? for the time would fail me to tell of Gedeon, and of Barak, and of Samson, and of Jephthae; of David also, and Samuel, and of the prophets . . . "

And what shall I more say? For the time would fail me to tell of Juanita Wagner, and Marguerite Payne, and Tom Wright, and Garth Lamoreux, and Jill Lawlor, and Kathleen Whipple, and Sheryl Allred, and Nick Nelson, and Terrie Wood, and Juanita Svedi, and Katy Cochran:

". . . Who through faith subdued kingdoms, wrought righteousness, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions,
"Quenched the violence of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in fight, turned to flight the armies of the aliens.
". . . And others had trial of cruel mockings and scourgings, yea, moreover of bonds and imprisonment . . .
". . . Women received their dead raised to life again: and others were tortured, not accepting deliverance; that they might obtain a better resurrection . . . ."11

"Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God."12

Thus, it is FAITH that leads us to a better resurrection; meaning a better, immortal – even eternal life – because it first leads us through a better mortal life!

Our lives there reflect our lives here. Some may say, "Oh! Well, then! There is no hope for me, for I stink here!" And, here’s where our true hope in Christ comes in. As taught by James E. Faust, "All of us have made wrong turns along the way. I believe the kind and merciful God, whose children we are, will judge us as lightly as He can for the wrongs that we have done and give us the maximum blessing for the good that we do."13

But, let us not take for granted the many gifts extended to us through, and because of, the Atonement of our Savior. Make no mistake: we must reverence Christ’s faith by extending our own. We do this when we strive to be, or to become, better in our obedience and abandonment of sin; in our willingness to love (and be loved); in our repentance; in our forgiveness of another’s wrongs; in forgiving ourselves when Christ has done the same, or when it seems that he would forgive – if we would only allow him to do so.

In short, when we strive to be or become a better disciple of Christ, then will our hope in Christ increase, both in this world and in the world to come, where ours will be a better resurrection.

In 2003, I was in Nauvoo, Illinois. I traveled there to complete temple ordinances on June 27th for my mother who had died exactly one year before. This day also marked the one-year anniversary of the restoration and opening of the Nauvoo Temple, as well as the death of Joseph Smith. Referencing the period immediately following the martyrdom of Joseph, I recorded the following in my journal:

"I do not think that I would have enjoyed living 159 years ago. I wonder what my own faith would have been like then. Would I have stayed and helped to carry the collective load of the Saints at that time? I would like to think so. I would hope that my resilience and desire for a better cause – and better resurrection – would enliven the best within me to overcome the temporary trials given in the heat of the day. I can hope for no less of myself now, either.

"It is time to resurrect that hope that is within me, to invite the Spirit to strengthen the bands of my own faith in Christ, and to trust in his purposes for me. I cannot see his plans for me. I do not understand all his ways. I cannot possibly know of his power – his ability to intercede on my behalf and cause even the shackles of hell that ever chase after me to loosen and fall away.

"Though I cannot, or do not, see the full power of the Lord’s love in my little life . . . I am so much more filled with courage and determination to be more faithful. I trust all the more, too, that the Atonement will help to see me through the most difficult of times and grant me clarity of vision enough to remain in my place – though the future presented before me may be covered with a thick veil."14

May we each resurrect the divinity within us today – this Easter morn’ – that we may pass through the veil, whispering as we go, because our hearts are that tender and that swollen with joy, that we might obtain a better resurrection. This is my hope. May it be your hope as well. In the sacred name of our only True Hope, the Bread of Life – even our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ – Amen.


FOOTNOTES:
1. 1 Corinthians 15:19
2. John 6:35
3. John 12:24
4. 1 Corinthians 15:22
5. 1 Corinthians 15:19
6. Hebrews 7:19
7. Hebrews 8:6
8. Hebrews 10:34
9. Hebrews 11:16
10. Alma 37:45
11. Hebrews 11:32-36 (verses 35 and 36 transposed, for emphasis)
12. Ether 12:4
13. James E. Faust, Ensign, Nov. 1996, p. 53.
14. Journal entry of Jacqueline J. Hancock, dated June 29, 2003.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Wait . . . I will show you something – The Miracle of the Three Trees


As told by Jeanie McAllister in A Singular Life.

One of my favorite stories about miracles is of three young trees who lived together on a hillside. They often talked about what each would like to be when he grew up.

One said, "Babies are the sweetest things in the world. should like to be a baby's cradle."

The second spoke, "That would not please me at all. I should like to be a great ship so I might cross many waters and carry cargoes of gold."

The third tree stood off by himself in deep reflection. "Have you no dream for the future?" asked the others.

"No dream," he answered, "except to stay on this hillside and point men to God. What could a tree do better than that?"

Years passed, and the three small trees grew up to be tall and beautiful. One day men came to the hillside and cut down the first tree. But he was not made into a cradle. Instead he was hewn into rough pieces and carelessly put together to form a manger. "This is not what I planned to be," he sobbed heartbrokenly. "Shoved into this dark stable with no one but the cattle."

But Heavenly Father, who loves trees, whispered, "Wait. I will show you something." And he did.

For one night when God's Only Begotten Son was born, he was wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in the manger. The manger quivered with delight. "In all my dreams I never thought to hold a baby like this," he said. "Why, I am part of a miracle. Truly, this is better than all my planning."

Years passed. And men came to the hillside and cut down the second tree. But he was not made into a great sailing vessel. Instead he became a tiny fishing boat owned by a man named Peter. "To think that my life has come to this," he complained unhappily. "Just a fishing boat."

But Heavenly Father, who loves trees, whispered, "Wait. I will show you something." And he did.

For one day on the Lake of Gennesaret, Jesus sat in the little boat and spoke to the multitude on the shore. He spoke words of such wisdom and light that the little boat listened eagerly. "Why, I am part of a miracle," he whispered, his heart full of wonder. "In all my dreams I never thought to carry a cargo like this. Truly, this is better than all my planning."

Months went by, and men came to the hillside to cut down the third tree. "I don't want to go into the valley," he wept, as the axe cut into his heart. But the men tore away his branches, hewed him apart, and fashioned his pieces into a crude cross. "This is terrible," he quivered. "They are going to hang someone. Oh, I never wanted this to happen to me. I only wanted to stand on the hillside and point men to God."

But Heavenly Father, who loves trees, whispered, "Wait. I will show you something." And he did.

For one day Jesus took up his cross and was led to a place called Golgotha where he was crucified between two thieves. Afterwards, his body was laid in a tomb. But at dawn on the third day when Mary Magdalene and the others came to the sepulchre, an angel met them, saying, "He is not here: for he is risen, as he said." (Matthew 28:6.)

And the cross began to understand. "Why, I am part of a miracle," he marveled. "Jesus' great mission was to give his life so that all who have ever lived on earth can one day return to God and live with him again. In all my dreams I never thought to point men to God in this way. Truly this is better than all my planning."

========

SKINHORSE:
Each of us is attended by a host of difficulties that seem to do their utmost best to overcome us. Sometimes, they do. At least for me, when a few long days come my way, they are often joined by a few long nights as well. During these periods, I am tempted to give up and give in, rather than wait for God’s intended miracles to unfold: those of light, life, love, and learning.

I sometimes question, What is the purpose in all of this? What is
my purpose? At these moments--and when I can remember to do so--I try to envision the tender embrace of a loving heavenly father, holding me close to His chest, stroking my hair a little, and softly whispering in my ear, "Wait . . . I will show you something."

So, I do. And he does!

Whether envisioned or real, that little whisper gives me strength and courage enough to view and act upon my circumstances a little differently. And, I find hope enough to press on in my journey with a fuller expectation that, in God’s own way, and in His own time, all will be revealed . . . including the wondrous variety of His miraculous expressions in my life. In your life. In our lives together.


Wait . . .
Wait . . .
Wait . . .

Allow Him to show you something.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Skinhorse Poetry: "HOPE"

Before and after each fall of evening,
Before and after each dark and turbulent storm,
Abides the One
Whose love doth shine

H o p e

Into every watchful eye.

- Jacqueline J. Hancock


Please watch this "Ray of Hope" slideshow
with music by Secret Garden: THE PROMISE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stNT4X2BZtE


Skinhorse Poetry: "I'd Like to Capture a Rainbow"


I'd like to capture a rainbow
And stick it in a big box
So that,
Anytime you wanted to,
You could reach in and pull out
A piece of sunshine.

I’d like to build you a mountain
That you could call your very own—
A place to find serenity
In those times when you
Feel the need to be
Closer to yourself, or to God.

I’d like to be the one
Who’s there with you when you’re
Lonely or troubled
Or you just need
Someone
To hold on to.

I’d like to do all this and more
To make your life happy.

But sometimes
It isn’t easy to do
The things I would like to do
Or give the things I would
Like to give.

So . . . until I learn how to
Catch rainbows and build mountains,
Let me do for you
That which I know best . . .

. . . Let me simply be your friend.

- Jacqueline J. Hancock



SKINHORSE:

In the early 1980s, I sold this poem to Blue Mountain Arts Company. They subsequently used it to make a card; later, it was included in a calendar and a book. Since then, I have discovered this poem has been published on several websites, often with words altered. Imagine my surprise and great honor to recently discover it had been included as part of the obituary of a cherished mother of 16 children:

Roark, Laura -a model mother, entered eternal life August 30,1991. She was born June 19, 1907 into the family of Jeff and Mary Jane Halcomb Caudill, in Letcher County. Laura was married to John D. Roark, who preceded her in death. Laura reared sixteen children. This in itself would qualify her as a superwoman. Of these sixteen children, ten were her biological offspring. She was a member of the Defeated Creek Old Regular Baptist Church, wherein she had been a member for approximately thirty-five years. Mama was an obedient servant of God and cherished her fellowship in the Old Regular Baptist Association. Mama believed and proclaimed that Jesus was the solution to all problems. She never failed to express His wondrous ways and to recommend him as a savior for her children and others. Mother had a wish that she echoed often, her wish to die in the spirit of the Lord. We, the children, other family members, and Christian friends, were by her bedside when she died. I feel that her obedience and devotion to God contributed to her wish being granted, because we witnessed spiritual events that convinced me that Mama died in the spirit of the Lord. I feel that this eloquent passage from Jacqueline J. Hancock echoes Mama's thoughts, especially for her children. "I'd like to be the one who's there with you when you're lonely or troubled or you just need someone to hold on to. I'd like to do all this and more to make your life happy. But sometimes, it isn't easy to do the things I would like to do or give the things I would like to give," so trust in God. Submitted by her children. http://www.knottkentuckykinfolk.com/orb_indian_bottom/1992_2.htm